


His Beloved Liberty

by Lord_Amias



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Angst, Blood, But shhh, Comfort/Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Paranoia, Possessive Behavior, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Relationships, Usagi is really in love, this is part of an au thing but like i'll never write about it cause its pretty much vent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 05:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20558816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Amias/pseuds/Lord_Amias
Summary: Akihiko is just a little bit too in love





	His Beloved Liberty

**Author's Note:**

> Uhh big tw for self harm! If you're squeamish and triggered by that material then don't read this  
Took a lil break from the camboy fic to write this. I didn't bother editing this but tHAT DONT MATTER HERE!!! Enjoy

‘I could marry him if I wanted to’, was a thought Akihiko always found himself thinking. He sat up from his pillow, which could’ve become a magnet and forced him down if he was normal. Except this time, he wasn’t normal. He didn’t think he was “right”. 

His eyes were adjusted to the darkness. He wasn’t sleepy at all. In fact, he couldn’t sleep at all. He could see his room, filled to the brim with toys, stuffed animals, books and more. It was a personal paradise as he always used to escape from his bitter reality. His days full of stress and annoyance from everything around him were a nuisance at best. His home was the only safe zone but even then his head wasn’t where it should be. 

He was rich, smart, a best selling author, and attractive. What else was there to him? Well, he was lazy, a man-child and “unhealthy” as well. He did still live his best life...Especially now that he met someone that oozed perfection. 

Akihiko set his eyes next to him, staring at his sleeping partner. Misaki laid motionless, only his chest rising up and down as he slept. His breathing was soft and slow. He looked purely in peace. His skin was surprisingly smooth despite the small bumps of acne he had on his cheeks and under his mouth (Probably from stress). Akihiko longed to caress his face but stopped his hand. 

There was a burning guilt in his throat. 

_ I could marry him if I wanted to but... _ He stared down at his lover, who was so sweetly curled up to the side. 

There was no way Akihiko could fathom how much Misaki meant to him. He was everything he wasn’t. 

Misaki could take care of himself. Akihiko barely got by without him. 

Misaki could work without breaks. Akihiko could barely get started on an assignment. 

Misaki looked good in everything. Akihiko was just in a suit each day. 

Misaki loved him. Akihiko still found it hard to like himself. 

If Misaki was gone, how would Akihiko even live? The more days passed, the more difficult it was to keep his hands to himself. Not even just in a sexual manner, Akihiko always found himself struggling to even stand away from him. They’ve been together for so long...It felt like they’ve always been together from the start. 

This lovely angel was just another nuisance to him at first but now...He couldn’t even breathe normally if he wasn’t in the same room as him. 

Even when he was busy at a meeting, he found himself feeling anxious. His hands twitched and itched, his nails grew dirty and chewed. His lips always chapped from biting and tearing at the skin on them, sometimes bleeding nonstop. 

Without even realizing, Akihiko was chewing onto his hand as he stared at his beautiful boyfriend. He bit into himself, chewing and salivating all over his skin. He bit, and grinded. His flesh grew more and more red under his teeth. 

How could he even live without Misaki? Just before, he felt dead. He was barely alive when he was on his own. If he ever lost him, how would he even wake up in the morning? How would he eat? How would he  _ breathe _ ? 

The times where Misaki went to go on trips were the most painful. Akihiko could barely even keep it together. He remembered shaking, crying, and sleeping for the entire weeks his beloved was gone. He couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving all together and not coming back. 

He was perfect. Sadly, it wasn’t just him who saw his flawless nature. So many other people have taken an interest in  _ his _ Misaki. He could see people flirting with him. He could see people blushing at the thought of him. He could see people falling for him. That just wasn’t right. Couldn’t they see? Were they fucking blind? Misaki already belonged to someone. Who gave them the fucking right to even breathe the same air as him? 

The amount of times he had to stop himself from outright hurting people was too much to count. Misaki was his and his alone. He was his liberty. There was no way he’d let anyone defile his precious treasure. 

Akihiko could taste metal. He pulled his hand from his mouth, feeling the blood drip from his palm. Despite all these recurring thoughts, he knew this was far from normal. 

There wasn’t a lot of injury, so he decided to ignore it. He lowered his hand, reaching towards his sleeping lover to pet his soft locks. He tangled his fingers through his hair, feeling pure peace. 

A wave of calm hit him. It was instant paradise. How did someone like Misaki have such control on his emotions? He controlled him. There was no way he would stick around someone as useless as Akihiko though. 

Akihiko had the worst urges. He was disgusting. Even he hated his own negative thoughts. This wasn’t normal. Would Misaki ever understand? Akihiko’s pure bliss faded, now replaced with that murderous anxiety. 

He laid back down, scooting towards his lover. He wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him. 

“Mm...Usagi-san..?”, Misaki sleepily murmured. He adjusted his position as he faced away from him. Akihiko said nothing, simply nuzzling into his neck and breathing in his scent. 

Misaki turned his head to try to face him, only to see the bitten hand Akihiko failed to hide. He attempted to sit up but the author’s grip on him was strong, keeping him in place. 

“Hey, Usagi-san…”. His voice was gentle, quickly replacing that anxiety with that same blissful calm wave. “Are you okay?”. 

Akihiko remained unspoken, nuzzling into his lover. He wanted to be as close as possible. He couldn’t stand not touching him. 

“Usagi?”. 

“Yeah...I’m fine…”. 

They both stayed silent. Akihiko shut his eyes, feeling the warmth of his Misaki. As long as he was with him, he could stay alive for an eternity. 

Then, he suddenly felt a warm hand grip his injured, aching palm. 

“Are you sure…?”, he whispered. The gentleness...The pure love he let out in those words struck Akihiko in the heart like a hammer. He could have cried right there but he held it in. 

“Yes...Well, actually no…”. Misaki’s grip on Akihiko’s hand tightened, forcing his hand away from his body in order to interlock their fingers tightly. 

Akihiko sighed to himself, admiring his lover. He had one last request for the night. 

“Misaki, baby...Do you...Do you ever wanna get married?”. 

He was met with silence. 

“Grip my hand tighter if you ever think about it at least…”, he pleaded. 

Silence ensued. He felt that choking pain that he dreaded, the lump in his throat refusing to let oxygen in. 

But then, he felt that warm hand squeeze his own cold one. 

“Jeez, you’re too sappy...Go to sleep…I love you, Usagi. Don’t forget that”. 

Akihiko smiled, taking his hand away from him to hug his body tight. He loved him too. He was so, so happy. No one could ever make him feel this amazing besides Misaki. He’s all he’s ever wanted. 

“I love you too, honey”. 

He was in paradise once more. 


End file.
